Trauma-Informed Horsemanship: Building Trust and Confidence with Your Horse 

Growing up and riding whatever horse someone would let me, I was often told different ways to do the same things with different horses. One common theme that threaded through them all was along the lines of “don’t let them get away with that”. I was told to be more assertive, aggressive, dominant, alpha, *insert whatever other force-based term you’ve heard here*. 

Some more gentle trainers were writing books about their methods back then, like Monty Roberts’ Join-Up and Linda Tellington-Jones’ TTouch, but my environment mainly focused on the more common “do what I want right now and things will go easier for you”. 

I bred my first horse in 2002, and trained him in dressage and eventing using fairly typical training methods. As we progressed, and I saw him being mistreated by different trainers, I began to doubt that this was the right way. Eventually I found my way to different methods, and most of them have one thing in common: they realize that horses are energetic creatures, and carry traumas. 

Trauma In Horses?

Horses remember what happens to them, good or bad. Trauma-informed horsemanship means treating every horse with patience and respect, especially when they’ve gone through tough times. It’s about reading their body language, understanding triggers, and helping them feel safe.

When you work with a horse this way, you start to build real trust. Both you and your horse grow more confident together. This approach isn’t just for horses with a rough past—it helps make partnerships stronger across the board. If you want a calmer, happier horse and a better connection, Trauma-Informed Horsemanship methods make a difference right from the start.

Understanding Trauma in Horses

Trauma isn’t always loud or obvious in horses. Sometimes it hides in plain sight, bubbling under the surface in the way a horse acts or reacts to normal things. Every horse brings their past with them—from how they were raised to what happened last week. By understanding where trauma starts and how it shows up, we can make better choices and offer more empathy to our horses.

Every Horse Carries Some Kind of Trauma

Even a horse who’s been loved its whole life carries some memories that shape how they feel today. Just being weaned from their mother is a big deal emotionally. Science now shows that cribbing and wind-sucking, those repetitive habits, often start after stressful weaning and stick around when horses never learn to handle stress well.

Modern life for a horse is full of triggers:

• Not getting basic needs met: Horses need plenty of forage, time with friends, and freedom to move.
• Separation and changes: Moving to new homes, getting passed from owner to owner, or even just changing barns adds up.
• Routine upsets: Things like new feed, different turnout, noisy shows, or unfamiliar people can pile on stress.
• Poor handling or training: Harsh methods, rough equipment, or being pushed too fast leave lasting marks.

A horse might look calm, but these everyday pressures pile up over time. Even the most experienced riders can miss the subtle signs that trauma is building.

Signs of Trauma in Horses

Horses express stress and trauma with their bodies and behavior. It doesn’t have to be dramatic; most signs are easy to miss at first glance.

Look for these common clues:

• Spooking or bolting: Quick starts, jumps, or a sudden dash away from “danger.”
• Avoidance: Turning away, refusing to be caught, or acting shut down.
• Tension: Tight muscles, tail clamped, or lips pressed tightly together.
• Aggression: Pinning ears, biting, kicking, or lunging out.
• Startle responses: Flinching or overreacting to touch, sounds, or movement.
• Reluctance: Backing up, “planting,” or just not wanting to move forward.
• Facial signs: Wide eyes with lots of white showing, grinding teeth, or flared nostrils even when at rest.

Sometimes these behaviors look like “bad manners” or stubbornness. In reality, the horse might just be trying to cope with stress or fear from something in their past.

How Horses Experience Stress

A horse’s brain is wired for safety. If something feels scary or uncomfortable, their natural reaction is to keep themselves safe before anything else.

Here’s a simple breakdown:

• Flight or Freeze: Horses are prey animals. When they sense danger, they either run (flight) or freeze in place. Training won’t erase this instinct; it’s hardwired for survival.
• The stress cycle: If a horse gets scared and can’t escape, they might freeze or “shut down” emotionally. This doesn’t mean they’re okay. It often means they feel helpless and overwhelmed.

When the stress response takes over:

• Learning gets blocked. A frightened horse can’t focus or remember new things.
• Communication suffers. It gets harder for you and your horse to stay connected.
• Physical cues ramp up. Ears flick wildly, jaws get tight, the eye whites show. The facial muscles might look stiff, especially around the mouth and eyes. You might see twitching or grinding teeth with no obvious cause.

These signals are your horse’s way of telling you something feels off. Paying attention to both the big and small signs helps you build trust step by step.

Core Principles of Trauma-Informed Horsemanship

Trauma-informed horsemanship goes beyond ordinary training methods. It puts the horse’s emotional and physical needs right at the center. This approach is shaped by empathy, clear communication, and patience. 

When you use these principles, small moments with your horse become chances to build trust and security. The result is a more relaxed partnership, where each step forward is a win for both horse and handler.

Safety for Horse and Handler

Physical and emotional safety set the foundation for every good partnership. Horses learn best when they feel safe, and so do people. When either partner feels unsafe or tense, connection breaks down, and harmful habits form.

In practice, this means watching for early signs of worry; like a horse’s head turning away, tense muscles, or a human who feels stiff or jumpy. Let’s say your horse suddenly balks at a tarp on the ground. Instead of forcing the issue, a trauma-informed approach means stepping back, giving space, and letting the horse decide when they’re ready. The handler’s job is to be calm and non-reactive, creating a “safe zone” where mistakes don’t lead to punishment or more fear.

Examples from everyday life include:

• Giving the horse room to move away during groundwork instead of holding them close.
• Checking equipment for comfort so nothing pinches or scrapes, and removing physical stressors.
• Taking breaks as soon as frustration shows on either side.

Horses, like people, can’t learn or build trust if they’re always on edge. When both feel protected, small successes add up.

Building Trust and Choice

Trust grows when horses get to make choices and feel heard. Consent in horsemanship means allowing the horse to say “no” or “not yet” without backlash. It’s not about letting a horse run wild, but about reading their signals and responding with respect.

You can build trust and choice by:

• Letting the horse approach new things at their speed. If they step back, pause and wait.
• Using positive reinforcement, like treats or scratches, for brave steps.
• Giving clear signals and space for response—don’t rush or pressure for instant obedience.
• Letting horses take short breaks to process or sniff, which lowers their worry.

Consent with horses might look like a horse lowering their head for a halter instead of turning away. It could be a horse standing still for grooming because they want the contact, not because they’re tied and can’t leave.

When horses see they have some control, confidence grows. Over time, they’ll offer more “yes” answers because past experience tells them it’s safe and rewarding. This isn’t just about kindness; it shapes a relaxed, curious horse who’s eager to engage.

Putting these principles into daily care and training turns every interaction into a chance for understanding. The more often a horse feels safe and respected, the deeper the bond and the more willing they become to try new things with you.

Great Alternatives to Fear-Based or Pain-Based Horsemanship

Traditional training often pushed horses using fear or discomfort, hoping a horse would submit or obey faster. But more people now realize that force or pain shuts a horse down, damages trust, and blocks learning. There are better ways that grow confidence, partnership, and understanding. These modern approaches don’t just make for happier horses—they also bring out the best in the people working with them.

Emotional Horsemanship: Listening First

Some methods focus on reading the horse’s emotions and responding with empathy. Lockie Phillips and others talk about emotional horsemanship, which puts the horse’s feelings front and center.

With this approach, you pay close attention to how your horse responds at every step. You notice when your horse is calm and curious, but also when they get anxious or withdrawn. 

If there’s tension or resistance, you pause and ask yourself, “What is my horse trying to tell me right now?” Instead of pushing through, you listen and adjust. Sometimes that means stopping completely and letting your horse sort through big emotions without pressure.

Benefits of emotional horsemanship:

• Reduces stress for both horse and handler.
• Builds trust by showing the horse their feelings matter.
• Encourages deeper connection so the horse wants to be with you, not just follow orders.

It’s a bit like being the friend who listens when someone is upset, not forcing them to “get over it” or ignore what’s wrong.

Natural Horsemanship: Asking, Not Demanding

Natural horsemanship takes a “ask, wait, and reward” attitude instead of “do it now or else.” Trainers like Buck Brannaman and many others helped make this style mainstream, but at its core, it’s about communication and partnership.

What does this look like?

• You start by softly asking the horse to do something, like back up, move over, or follow.
• You wait for a response, reading the smallest try or change.
• If the horse says “no” or seems nervous, you respect that boundary instead of arguing or punishing.
• You stop the ask when the horse resists, then pause and pay attention. Maybe the horse is confused, worried, or uncomfortable. Take it as feedback, not a fight.

This way, the horse learns that it’s safe to express boundaries. They become more willing partners because they know you respect their “no” as much as their “yes.”

The Power of Permission: Letting Horses Say Yes or No

It feels different when a horse is truly willing instead of simply giving in. Modern horsemanship often means literally waiting for your horse’s “okay.”

Ways to use permission in your training:

• Don’t rush haltering or saddling. Let your horse sniff, move, and show you when they’re comfortable.
• Notice small signs of “yes,” like a bowed head, soft eye, or stepping closer.
• If they pull away or seem worried, slow down or stop. Try again later or change the ask.
• Reward their “try” with a break, a kind word, or a scratch.

This switches the old story around: Training isn’t about winning a battle. It’s about building two-way respect.

Trusting Your Gut and Knowing When to Slow Down

Some people feel pressure to keep up with a lesson plan, a trainer, or the horse next door. But real progress with horses often means trusting that small voice inside when you sense your horse needs a break or when something feels “off.”

How do you know?

• If your horse starts to fidget, tune out, or get tight, give them a few minutes to rest.
• When you feel rushed or frustrated, take a step back for both of you.
• If what you’re being taught doesn’t feel right, speak up and ask for a new plan.

No one knows your horse better than you. Be their advocate. Trainers should listen just as much as they teach. It’s okay, and sometimes even necessary, to ask for changes or to try something different.

Doing Things Your Way (Even if It’s Not the “Normal” Way)

There’s no single roadmap for every horse or rider. What works wonders for one pair might not fit another. The biggest breakthroughs often come when you’re brave enough to step away from traditional methods and trust the relationship you’re building.

You can:

• Mix methods to suit your horse’s needs.
• Ask for help from professionals who understand trauma-informed approaches.
• Stand up for your horse if someone suggests using fear, force, or harsh tools.

The best horsemanship puts kindness, consent, and communication above speed or competition. These alternative approaches create a safe, open space for both horse and human to learn together. 

When you follow your gut, put the horse’s well-being first, and stay flexible, you build a partnership that feels good for everyone involved.

So What’s Next?

Trauma-informed horsemanship gives horses a real chance at happiness and safety. By putting patience and respect at the front of every interaction, both horse and rider grow stronger and more confident together. Every horse has a story, and it’s up to us to listen closely and respond with care.

Notice the small things, like body language, shifts in mood, and changes in response. These signals hold the answers to building better trust and teamwork. Try letting your horse have a say and see how your bond grows over time.

It doesn’t mean that you can never progress or ask your horse for more challenging things! What it does mean is that when your horse chooses to do what you ask, they’re doing it as part of a happy, healthy team rather than a shut down machine. 

It’s taken more years than I’d like to admit, but now I’m firmly on the side of less resistance, more listening, gentler touch, and more understanding. When we know better, we do better, and I’m so grateful for the horses who were so generous with their energy along the way, allowing me to learn and experience what felt icky to me so I could find my way to the beauty of what I can share with a horse now. 

Thanks for taking the time to learn what your horse truly needs. If you have thoughts or want to share your own story, please do. Your journey can inspire others to bring more kindness and understanding to horsemanship!